Gout

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water... or at least that I'd found foods that were both tasty and gluten free.

Woke up one morning with a sore knee.  Figured I'd hit it on something, or slept on it wrong, or dislocated the stupid kneecap again (long story).

But it just kept getting worse.  In fact, it got bad enough that I asked quack to look at it.  (And I never go to him when I'm actually sick.)  He did.  One look, one very painful squeeze of the muscles around the knee, and he pronounced the verdict. Gout.

He sat down on his little stool and wrote something in the medical record.  I explained to my lovely (and worried) daughter that gout is the accumulation of uric acid crystals in the joint.  He said "exactly!" (He thinks I'm an idiot.)

Then he walked out the door.

And walked back in with the biggest needle I've ever seen.  Sucker was huge!  And full of cortisone.  It hurt going in.  And it hurt a hell of a lot more coming out.  He took a sample of the fluid in my knee after he injected the medication.  Felt as bad as getting a bone marrow sample taken.

But... I could bend my knee.  Right away.  And it didn't hurt.  Well, it didn't hurt anywhere near as much.  What hurt was his next sentence.  Two servings of chicken per week.  Period.

Stupid me, I asked him what I could eat.  "Salads and vegetables," was his quick reply.  (Ugh was my immediate thought.)

So the diet just became much more restricted.  At least I'm losing a bit of weight.  

I'm tired.

I'm tired of having Celiac Disease, pernicious anemia, ichthyosis vulgaris, Hashimoto's thyroiditis, hypercoagulability disorder and the strokes associated with it, osteoporosis, allergic asthma, bipolar disorder and non-alcoholic fatty liver.

I'm tired of always needing to know just exactly how far I am from the nearest bathroom... just in case.  I'm tired of people telling me they "couldn't do it" when they discuss being gluten free.  I'm tired of trying to pretend it doesn't matter to me that I can never have my favorite candy again.  I'm tired of  people who claim to be gluten sensitive or gluten "allergic" and then eat gluten filled items in public. 

I'm tired of companies that make gluten free products assuming that I am also dairy free, nut free and vegan.  I'm tired of people looking at me as though I have two heads when I ask for a gluten free menu or ask for the eggs without the toast.

I'm tired (really, really tired) of calling to inquire about a product that should be naturally gluten free... only to be told that it contains gluten.  Really?  Your peach ice cream contains gluten?  Why the hell would you put gluten in peach ice cream?  I can understand that it is in some chocolate ice creams, in the form of malt.  And in cookie dough ice cream.  I expect it to be there, and don't even glance at the packages.  But peach?  Give me a break.

And most of all, I'm tired of how bitchy I have become.  One of my imaginary internet friends was talking tonight about how wrong it was to claim to be a vegetarian when you sometimes eat meat or use meat in recipes (even if they are for someone else's consumption).  I very nearly responded that it must be damned nice to have the choice about what sort of restricted diet you adopted, and that whining about other people who also have the choice calling what they are eating semi-vegetarian is really petty.

I didn't, of course.  I came here to rant instead.  But I wanted to say it so badly... and I still do.

I don't like myself very much right now.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.